From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
