It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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