Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
