someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
