i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
