she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
