i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize