Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip