Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.