I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head