Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
