The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
