Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
