butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
