I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
