Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
