Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵