did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point