Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Do you have swine flu?

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

Pigs, yes. Swine, no.

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(202): Do you have swine flu? (1-202): I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine. (1-202): Pigs, yes. Swine, no. http://tfl.nu/dq8y

Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (954)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.

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(678): Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry. http://tfl.nu/8kmb

Replies (3) Good night (656) Bad night (1357)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on

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(204): this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol (1-204): you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on http://tfl.nu/g8v3

Replies (10) Good night (1166) Bad night (3929)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.

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(312): Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/1om1

Replies (82) Good night (3540) Bad night (974)
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(319): View more from Iowa

The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue

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(319): The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue http://tfl.nu/hmo2

Replies (23) Good night (8319) Bad night (867)
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(503): View more from Oregon

gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb

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(503): gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb http://tfl.nu/zgfq

Replies (24) Good night (4449) Bad night (1243)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person

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(715): I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person http://tfl.nu/kk0f

Replies (16) Good night (2739) Bad night (1093)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology

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(339): So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology http://tfl.nu/2zvz

Replies (6) Good night (4592) Bad night (1221)
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(314): View more from Missouri

one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.

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(314): one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this. http://tfl.nu/eiot

Replies (6) Good night (1430) Bad night (1304)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.

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(618): I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy. http://tfl.nu/it0x

Replies (6) Good night (2574) Bad night (768)
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(269): View more from Michigan

We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.

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(269): We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka. http://tfl.nu/2nmd

Replies (7) Good night (1394) Bad night (677)
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(912): View more from Georgia

He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five

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(912): He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five http://tfl.nu/n789

Replies (3) Good night (1202) Bad night (417)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

The band last night was really good

(1-252): View more from North Carolina

That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.

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(252): The band last night was really good (1-252): That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were. http://tfl.nu/08ms

Replies (2) Good night (1091) Bad night (357)
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(630): View more from Illinois

so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?

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(630): so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!? http://tfl.nu/j27z

Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (633)
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(512): View more from Texas

it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house

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(512): it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house http://tfl.nu/35q8

Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (371)

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