Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

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  (516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please? (443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag? http://tfl.nu/5o6h
  Replies (134) Good night (13166) Bad night (25859)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.

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  (613): One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/t95v
  Replies (31) Good night (2422) Bad night (1750)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.

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  (513): So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it. http://tfl.nu/bqup
  Replies (11) Good night (5134) Bad night (548)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for

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  (330): My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for http://tfl.nu/h1bq
  Replies (18) Good night (4655) Bad night (1031)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight

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  (419): if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight http://tfl.nu/1a1e
  Replies (11) Good night (3721) Bad night (842)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.

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  (503): After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him. http://tfl.nu/iy8v
  Replies (20) Good night (4945) Bad night (856)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...

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  (404): Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it... http://tfl.nu/ne4c
  Replies (10) Good night (4563) Bad night (904)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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  (201): On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in http://tfl.nu/9hap
  Replies (8) Good night (3746) Bad night (872)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.

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  (207): I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas. http://tfl.nu/wigg
  Replies (11) Good night (1364) Bad night (465)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.

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  (509): I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition. http://tfl.nu/x5ll
  Replies (4) Good night (1395) Bad night (452)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub

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  (334): What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub http://tfl.nu/it3y
  Replies (4) Good night (1076) Bad night (461)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?

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  (717): Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic? http://tfl.nu/xm16
  Replies (7) Good night (486) Bad night (1059)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.

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  (773): blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck. http://tfl.nu/370v
  Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (303)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.

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  (519): He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat. http://tfl.nu/pqit
  Replies (10) Good night (1305) Bad night (390)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!

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  (705): It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet. (705): Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go! http://tfl.nu/wqgq
  Replies (0) Good night (699) Bad night (140)

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