Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.

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(774): He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came. http://tfl.nu/1m8k

Replies (18) Good night (2184) Bad night (3236)
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(954): View more from Florida

What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?

(904): View more from Florida

Both

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(954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you? (904): Both http://tfl.nu/7q6w

Replies (18) Good night (6261) Bad night (774)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

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(484): he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him http://tfl.nu/d2zc

Replies (83) Good night (1038) Bad night (4067)
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(317): View more from Indiana

So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.

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(317): So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights? (1-317): Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude. http://tfl.nu/pkhp

Replies (16) Good night (888) Bad night (3798)
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(425): View more from Washington

Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.

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(425): Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange. http://tfl.nu/6ccw

Replies (19) Good night (1309) Bad night (5488)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.

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(617): Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant. http://tfl.nu/y6pb

Replies (30) Good night (4204) Bad night (1349)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.

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(513): He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower. http://tfl.nu/6nkf

Replies (8) Good night (4873) Bad night (812)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.

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(870): To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/vs7y

Replies (4) Good night (2869) Bad night (708)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I love you more than champagne and correct grammar

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(304): I love you more than champagne and correct grammar http://tfl.nu/3165

Replies (19) Good night (3863) Bad night (796)
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(406): View more from Montana

I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

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(406): I would watch the shit out of some full house right now. http://tfl.nu/5ksj

Replies (6) Good night (2084) Bad night (579)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.

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(703): I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did. http://tfl.nu/tu20

Replies (6) Good night (1286) Bad night (558)
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(775): View more from Nevada

If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.

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(775): If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you. http://tfl.nu/tyav

Replies (4) Good night (1564) Bad night (646)
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(904): View more from Florida

You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.

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(904): You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/g46j

Replies (6) Good night (1758) Bad night (789)
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(954): View more from Florida

Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.

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(954): Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat. http://tfl.nu/msv0

Replies (10) Good night (1196) Bad night (285)
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(713): View more from Texas

She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.

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(713): She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided. http://tfl.nu/l32x

Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (235)

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