Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite

(917): View more from New York City

get a pic

(718): View more from New York

i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that

(917): View more from New York City

i want ur life

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(718): i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite (917): get a pic (718): i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that (917): i want ur life http://tfl.nu/sg3n

Replies (25) Good night (2605) Bad night (527)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.

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(617): i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it. http://tfl.nu/hw4z

Replies (105) Good night (7638) Bad night (2018)
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(720): View more from Colorado

just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.

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(720): just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing. http://tfl.nu/182p

Replies (8) Good night (4664) Bad night (1314)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.

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(763): I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts. http://tfl.nu/j2dd

Replies (3) Good night (985) Bad night (2596)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO

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(701): ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO http://tfl.nu/t2mi

Replies (8) Good night (1816) Bad night (1252)
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(914): View more from New York

He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.

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(914): He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away. http://tfl.nu/k6q1

Replies (13) Good night (6698) Bad night (1125)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

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(919): Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy. http://tfl.nu/xqei

Replies (11) Good night (3599) Bad night (752)
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(914): View more from New York

Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.

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(914): Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face. http://tfl.nu/vgja

Replies (12) Good night (3561) Bad night (1239)
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(312): View more from Illinois

He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.

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(312): He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work. http://tfl.nu/lc9m

Replies (12) Good night (1005) Bad night (640)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.

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(501): Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag. http://tfl.nu/w2wq

Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (512)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink

(815): View more from Illinois

I care about my drink far more than her feelings

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(507): I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink (815): I care about my drink far more than her feelings http://tfl.nu/v6if

Replies (3) Good night (1617) Bad night (470)
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(805): View more from California

Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.

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(805): Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/tlvz

Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (356)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week

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(267): I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week http://tfl.nu/wcg4

Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (678)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

You gift wrapped a tampon.

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(815): I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase. (1-815): You gift wrapped a tampon. http://tfl.nu/h0zj

Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (369)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?

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(715): Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night? http://tfl.nu/fn24

Replies (1) Good night (232) Bad night (448)

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