So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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