I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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