And the cops told us we were all naked.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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