dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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