I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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