i just google imaged poop.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Shame - the story of my life.
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