yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
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You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
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Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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