Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
