if i can run in heels then i can drive
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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