Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
