We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Text me some of your sweat
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
