help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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