I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have already put on my inside pants.
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