Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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