I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
