Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
