my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
