I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize