Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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