she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
