I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
