Whod you bang
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
