just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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