it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
