I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
