garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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