why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
