Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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