i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
