Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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