On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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