Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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