Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Is it because I queefed?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
