I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
