Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
