kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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