i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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