i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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