He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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