Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
