Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize