so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
