So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
