dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
