Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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