god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
